Demotivated

from loveMyMuscles

This month of August has been so harsh to me so far. There are lots of disappointment happenings and I don't know how to stop them and they're still keep on coming.

First day of August I think will be the harshest as I have heard the saddest news of my entire career. I have been working so hard and maintaining my quality performance at work as I know and  am very vocal that I wanted to move forward before I reach my 1st year. I am pretty sure that I'll be having the qualifications as I was able to make it and I am even being recognized by bossess of a job well done but as the list has been brought I am not even on one of the candidates for promotion and it really makes me so frustrated and as per the reason: my behavior. I am not frustrated of the people who gave me that disciplinary action, yeah! I admit there are some incidence that I have been so extremely tardy and what makes me so frustrated is the fact that I caused myself a big trouble just because of that shallow thing and puts me in a big disappointment. I have been so emotional after that day. Maybe it's just that, I expect too much.

I thought that my August dilemma will just end that way. But then, my performance has been affected. My scores are getting low - actually extremely and unbelievably low and it seems like it is pulling me never to step forward anymore.

Aside from work, I have been experiencing problems with my studies: My laptop is making me trouble as it won't open and I have to send it to the repair shop and I don't have any back up of my files especially my thesis and I have to do my defense this month.

My sister is not understanding me as she always scolds at me whenever I am going out just because I don't wanna feel so alone and just think of my frustrations and disappointments and that adds to my burdens. 

My friends at work are starting to leave, I don't know where to turn to after.

and of course, my biggest problem... my funding are getting worse.

I really don't know why is this happening to me but I know that this has a purpose, but dear lord! can you just slow down? I haven't recover from the previous one and yet another one again?

and yeah, I know I don't have any choice but fight. It's just that, please help me get over and help me regain myself again.