Disappointed

This Picture was taken in Nasugbu Batangas way back 2011

I don’t know but I feel so disappointed lately with myself, with the people around me and with everything that is about me. It seems like everything that is happening is not right and that disappointment depresses me, I feel so sad every day.

I really thought that this month will be good to me as aside from my Birthday, I started it in a very enjoy way and spend my first 4 days of the month with my favorite place in the Philippines (next to our home) but then after that it seems like everything went wrong.

My first salary of the month is not the one I am expecting and it’s a bit disappointing to see. And then, I was not allowed to join our company summer outing and team building as I have been in a very long vacation and I was asked to stay and facilitate. I also tried to do a perfect attendance without any tardiness and I did my best to that but it seems like destiny does not want to give me a perfect score with it. Our department and team members will be dispersed and shuffle thus I have to socialize again and of course leaving my friends company behind is disappointing plus my friends, I am so disappointed with them as I cannot feel them especially in times of this disappointments in me. I know that the reasons I stated might be so shallow but these pretty little things does mean a lot to me and I am hoping that being with them will help me ease it, unfortunately they’re not there, they’re all too busy and it addends another disappointment in me.

I have been desperate to have fun and I keep on inviting people in facebook I am not that familiar with to go out with me and when everything was set up I just backed out, I thought I wouldn’t enjoy if I am not with the right person/s, so I just stayed at home and spend it with the one of the most loved my dogs.

Last time my boss pulled me and we had a great-job-a-bit-personal conversation and he asked me

“You’ve been late for 3 days, what’s happening?”

I just went mute and later on I answered “I am getting demotivated to come in to work boss”

And he waits for me to tell him why

“I feel so alone… and it makes me so sad” I seriously said, am I too dramatic in this part.

My boss didn’t say a thing about that, he know what I mean and I know he cannot resolve my problem.

While traveling going home, I just thought that: Are these the symptoms of getting old single?

Haix, if that is the reason then that’s a sad thing and that’s another disappointment L

Simply Accept Your Friends Whoever they are....

Photo from Second life

“He is gay pala, he did not tell us then I don’t wanna be his friend na” I was stunned when one of my friends named Gab tell me this after we just hang out with one of our friend whose gender is so mysterious as there are lots of speculations that he is not a straight guy.

“Napaka- Judgemental mo naman (You’re so judgemental)” I told him after his statement as I ought to disagree with what he just said.

I even recall the moment that Ryan (not his real name, the one whose gender is so mysterious) became our friend, he is so cool and it seems like he does like our company. We hang out sometimes and he is freaking awesome and he is one of the type of friend I wanted to have. But the thing makes his gender mysterious are his movements, they’re a bit feminine, his voice is so soft as well and he has a lot of guy friends who are mostly got the looks.

One time I asked Ryan “Are you straight Ryan?” without any hesitations

Read more »

Boracay Part 2

The Beautiful Sunset in Boracay

As I have said before (you may see my previous blog We Gora sa Bora (We went to Boracay) ) we were supposed to be four during our first visit to Boracay but unfortunately an unexpected and unavoidable thing happened to one of my peers thus only me and my friend George went there last November and since we will never let that just slipped we booked another trip to Boracay and finally we were complete this time and it all happened during my birthday week: April 1-4 (actually, mine and Paola’s birthday), we spent our birthdays in a 4 days 3 nights stay in one of my favorite place aside from home: BORACAY, in Kalibo, Aklan, Philippines.

Read more »

Happy Birthday to me :)

Picture from The Candy Perfume Boy

My Birthday was last April 3, and actually when the year 2013 just started one of my fear is to have my birthday, sounds weird right? but it seems like I am really getting old and now, I know how does older people feel whenever they're having their birthdays as if it is a combination of happiness and fear somehow.

Happiness as they just had their birthdays! they were given another year in this life and fear that they're getting old yet there are lots of things that they wanted to do and it seems like time is so fast and will really never allow them to do those things in an instant.

But I still thank God that he really made my day so very special. There are lots of people who greeted my that day who wishes me good luck on my career, a good health and especially love life (this has been their wish for a long time, then why it is not happening yet??? lol) and aside from that I celebrated my whole birth day with my friends who has been so close to my heart and that happens to one of my favorite places (aside from HOME) here in the Philippines ----- BORACAY!!! (gonna blog that soon)

Though I am getting old and success in career and in love life seems cannot be seen yet, I still wanted to thank God for letting me realize that in my existence I have gained a lot of friends who is always there for me (though they're hurting me sometimes choz!), that he had showered me blessings and never let us down, and of course for giving me a wonderful though not that Ideal family who is always there waiting for me to get home, supports me 100% in all of my endeavors and love me unconditionally.

So Happy Birthday to me :)