Simply Accept Your Friends Whoever they are....

Photo from Second life

“He is gay pala, he did not tell us then I don’t wanna be his friend na” I was stunned when one of my friends named Gab tell me this after we just hang out with one of our friend whose gender is so mysterious as there are lots of speculations that he is not a straight guy.

“Napaka- Judgemental mo naman (You’re so judgemental)” I told him after his statement as I ought to disagree with what he just said.

I even recall the moment that Ryan (not his real name, the one whose gender is so mysterious) became our friend, he is so cool and it seems like he does like our company. We hang out sometimes and he is freaking awesome and he is one of the type of friend I wanted to have. But the thing makes his gender mysterious are his movements, they’re a bit feminine, his voice is so soft as well and he has a lot of guy friends who are mostly got the looks.

One time I asked Ryan “Are you straight Ryan?” without any hesitations

He just laughed at me and told me that he is. And when I asked him why he is not offended and just laughed at my question then he told me “I am so used to it, people thought me that I am gay though I am not and though that’s the case, I ought not to mind them, just as long I know that I am not then I am not” and I admired him for that

And my punch line question actually was “So just to clarify, you are not bisexual either right?”

He laughed a bit harder but in the end told me that “Drew, I am your friend and I will tell you if I am gay or bisexual or what and I am telling you now that I am not!”

And since that day I started to believe that he is really not gay because he told me so, he is my friend and I’ll stand what he told me

And going back to reality when me and Gab is having a conversation

“Did you saw him dancing with those guys out there?” Gab asked me, we’ve been in a bar somewhere in Timog, QC and we found Ryan there with some of his friends from our work

“Yeah! What’s wrong with that?” I asked him

“If he is not gay then why is he dancing that way with those guys wherein he does not know them either?” he asked me

“Maybe he is just being friendly! They never danced dirty naman right?” I questioned him back

“There are lots of girls there then why doesn’t he danced with them instead?” he asked me again

“We, his friends thought he is gay then maybe girls thought that he is so they are not dancing with him” I defended him

“Well, he is Gay” he concluded

“Why are you so irritated if he is?” 

“I am not irritated!” he told me “Why’d you keep on defending him?”

“Because I am his friend!” I answered quickly, people in that fast food chain thought we were fighting

 “Above all the others, we should be the one to understand him at first! We are his friend Gab, do you forget that?”

Gab suddenly went un-energized but still ready to complain

“If we are his friend then why doesn’t he tell us that he is Gay?” he is still defending himself

“Because he already told us that he is not and we should believe what he says, we are his friend and I am confident enough that he will tell it to us if he is Gay or not.” I answered back “It doesn’t mean that when a guy dances with another guy then he is gay, that is a very serious speculation that is libelous, we don’t know the whole story yet of why they’re dancing” I pointed out his point “and so what if he is gay? If he is not telling us that he is Gay but we are feeling it then so what? As a friend we should know how to accept him right? Because maybe there are some reasons why he is not admitting it and it wouldn’t help his situation if you will un-friend him, because in the first place he needs understanding not hatred and if he is real Gay then it is not enough reason to avoid him”

He suddenly became speechless. I notice that the guys on our side seemed to listen, I just smiled at them and they went back to their usual business.

I changed the topic for Gab’s sake. I am not mad at him, it’s just that I want him to know how to be a real friend.

Friend is what you call people who understands you no matter what the situation is, and if they do not they’ll let you realize that what you are doing is wrong but they’ll never leave you. They’re not just a companion, they’re called friends and it’s different

A week after, I asked Gab and our other friends to repeat our gimik nights and one of Gab’s reply that makes me smile?

“Invite Ryan too… It’ll be fun if he’ll be with us J”