|This Picture was taken in Nasugbu Batangas way back 2011|
I don’t know but I feel so disappointed lately with myself, with the people around me and with everything that is about me. It seems like everything that is happening is not right and that disappointment depresses me, I feel so sad every day.
I really thought that this month will be good to me as aside from my Birthday, I started it in a very enjoy way and spend my first 4 days of the month with my favorite place in the Philippines (next to our home) but then after that it seems like everything went wrong.
My first salary of the month is not the one I am expecting and it’s a bit disappointing to see. And then, I was not allowed to join our company summer outing and team building as I have been in a very long vacation and I was asked to stay and facilitate. I also tried to do a perfect attendance without any tardiness and I did my best to that but it seems like destiny does not want to give me a perfect score with it. Our department and team members will be dispersed and shuffle thus I have to socialize again and of course leaving my friends company behind is disappointing plus my friends, I am so disappointed with them as I cannot feel them especially in times of this disappointments in me. I know that the reasons I stated might be so shallow but these pretty little things does mean a lot to me and I am hoping that being with them will help me ease it, unfortunately they’re not there, they’re all too busy and it addends another disappointment in me.
I have been desperate to have fun and I keep on inviting people in facebook I am not that familiar with to go out with me and when everything was set up I just backed out, I thought I wouldn’t enjoy if I am not with the right person/s, so I just stayed at home and spend it with the one of the most loved my dogs.
Last time my boss pulled me and we had a great-job-a-bit-personal conversation and he asked me
“You’ve been late for 3 days, what’s happening?”
I just went mute and later on I answered “I am getting demotivated to come in to work boss”
And he waits for me to tell him why
“I feel so alone… and it makes me so sad” I seriously said, am I too dramatic in this part.
My boss didn’t say a thing about that, he know what I mean and I know he cannot resolve my problem.
While traveling going home, I just thought that: Are these the symptoms of getting old single?
Haix, if that is the reason then that’s a sad thing and that’s another disappointment L