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Thursday, May 15, 2014

On a Long Vacation...

Nasugbu, Batangas last May 2011
I have written on my previous blog I Filed my Resignation that my last day in the office would be April 28, 2014 hence I am still in the company up until now. 

It is not that I retracted my resignation but the effectivity of my resignation has been requested to be extended after my boss talked to me. It has been a long and very mind-bugging-talk. It is two weeks after when my boss talked to me if I am still pursuing my resignation and yeah! It does not sounds good to me when he asked that but during the talk I certainly realize that he is now offering me few things that will make me stay and I always answer back by saying "I'll think of it" and it is my answer whenever he tried to convince me and to tell you honestly, I still cannot decide. there are times when I am decided to retract my resignation because my friends are convincing me and I am starting to love the job again but 

"Tell me, what makes you think of not staying?" my boss asked

"It is always hard to please this company, remember when my one day leave request has been denied? It makes me stop and think to pursue my resignation. I know that I have the eligibility to have that leave granted but then, they declined it and so why shall I stay to a company who does not recognize my worth?" I told him

"Our manager is offering you a long leave of absences.. one week, two weeks it depends on you. We wanted you to think and unwind. I know that you might be just stressed. Just come back whenever you are ready an if you didn't come back then it only means you resign" he says

"I was asking for a vacation for my birthday before and they decline it without looking on my reasons and eligibilities and now they are offering me this vacation... I am so speechless" I told him sarcastically. I am lucky enough to have a supervisor like him where you can talk to him as casual as this.

"I definitely understand how you feel" his empathetic words plus he sight all my good deeds "But it won't hurt for you to take it, just think and rest. I know it'll help" he convinced me.

and so I took it. It started my vacation last Sunday, May 11 and yet I still don't know the date when I'll be back at work or if I am going back. I am now spending my time to rest, have a peace of mind, spend more quality time at home and work on my thesis as well. 

I hope that a sign will come up soon that'll make me decide. I know that my heart is telling me not to leave as it'll miss the friends I have build in this institution for the past two years however my mind is telling me to go as I need to stop torturing myself. Hence, I need mutual decision from these two. #Ambivalent

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