Contract Renewal: I almost said "NO!"

It has been more than 6 months since I applied for a job. I passed the interview and so as the exam but the job I indicated to my resume wasn’t really been given to me, and due to the results of my exam; I’ve been designated to the busiest area of the company; and every simple work is unfamiliar to me.

I still signed the contract and it includes my job description, my salary and the duration of the contract which is 6 months and last Monday was supposed to be my final day.

But the HR department called my attention by Monday afternoon telling me that they wanted to talk for personal matters. I went to their office and there it goes in a one on one manner between me and the HR head only.

“Please read this and sign it if you agree” She showed me a paper, of course it is a paper with contents (I don’t have to read it if there’s none haha)

So I grabbed the paper, wondering what was that but I found out the answer when I saw and read the bold and capitalized title of the statement; it is a contract, and it’s not my previous contract, it is a new contract telling me that the company wants me to stay, and they’re now hiring me as a regular employee.

Well it is a very great pleasure to me. It only means that the company is satisfied with my performances but suddenly, something is stopping me from signing that contract and that something was very perturbing at the moment.

I thought of my nursing dream all at once. I already told myself (even before I started this different job) that I’m going to pursue my profession once I have enough funds and once I ended the contract I have signed before but on the other hand, my responsibilities from the company is taking place… I mean what if I resigned? Who will be responsible of my works? well, my previous mentor has resigned last march and I never endorsed anything to anyone and it’s not that easy to endorse my works, it is the variety of evryones workload, it is the repetition of everyone’s job and it’ll take at least two months for someone to understand my area… I’m now in mode of ambivalence, I don’t know what to do.

I asked the head of HR “Ma’am, if ever I’m going to take a leave because I wanted to attend nursing trainings and seminars, would you allow me too?”

“Of course! We support our employees important activities outside especially if it is about their continuance of education.” She said

Then I realized that I could use this another 6 months to attend trainings required from hospitals and yet earning

“I’m planning to pursue my profession after the duration of this contract ma’am” I owned up

“No problem with that, You can file an indefinite leave if you still want to get back here after, or you may file your resignation… the company is just happy with your performance that’s why we are absorbing you as our regular employee now” she told me

Then in an instance, I signed the contract.

I realized that I have no preparation to resign from the company yet, I think 6 months will be enough to endorse my things and prepare myself for my foreseen new environment. It’s not that I don’t like my work right now, I’m starting to love it but my mind and soul is driving me to my passion and I want to serve and give care…

But I know my dreams could wait for me as I know that my mind and soul will never quit to gain that passion maybe this time, all I have to do is to practice my responsibilities and accountabilities as I know that I’ll gain something in here and so I’m gonna use this wonderful experience in everywhere I go.