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Earlier this year when I realized that I was Burnout, I admit that all the reasons why I love my work faded away. But then, I still tried to stay to see if there will be a second chance and yet I've regained my self with A New Beginning... I actually performed well and there are lots of people who knew me who were amazed with my performance after that time until a sad issue came up that I think started all my dramas recently.
My article Demotivated had articulate the reason why I went so down last August. To tell you honestly, I really did expect that I will step up as I have made promise to myself that I'll do my very best to be at my Goal before I turned 1 year with this employer but then, I just found out I was not even on the list for job promotion and the reason is my just-close-to-perfection attendance, at that time I really can't accept the fact that it is just the reason why they cannot include me on the list wherein there are lot of employee got promoted and selected proactively who were worse than me or better yet let us just say that I just expected a lot and it hurts when expectations are not given nor achieved. My performance got affected as my high scores went down significantly and there are valuable people who talked to me telling me that I became so different lately specially with my performance but I don't have the guts to tell them all my dramas I know that they might think that I am just overacting and it's all my fault - I was hurt because I expect something in return.
I tried to regain my motivation and after a month I did from this serious talk with my immediate supervisor and so I decided to get back the performance I was doing but it seems like despite of all the efforts I am putting in my everyday job, despite of all the happiness in my face whenever I render my service... my respondent's seems not so happy and my performance are not hitting the goal and it's 3 months in a row and for me it's unacceptable. I regained and was inspired again 2 months in a row then why does my metrics does not reflect it? and worse, the recent job performance is the worst among the months that I've stayed in here and it's even worse that I am just starting in this business and that makes me wonder if this would be the sign that I should leave... but I know and deep inside of me.. i don't want to leave.
I've asked for signs and God has given those to me then why do I have this ambivalent feeling if it's me whp wishes for those signs in the first place???
I think I really need a break
My article Demotivated had articulate the reason why I went so down last August. To tell you honestly, I really did expect that I will step up as I have made promise to myself that I'll do my very best to be at my Goal before I turned 1 year with this employer but then, I just found out I was not even on the list for job promotion and the reason is my just-close-to-perfection attendance, at that time I really can't accept the fact that it is just the reason why they cannot include me on the list wherein there are lot of employee got promoted and selected proactively who were worse than me or better yet let us just say that I just expected a lot and it hurts when expectations are not given nor achieved. My performance got affected as my high scores went down significantly and there are valuable people who talked to me telling me that I became so different lately specially with my performance but I don't have the guts to tell them all my dramas I know that they might think that I am just overacting and it's all my fault - I was hurt because I expect something in return.
I tried to regain my motivation and after a month I did from this serious talk with my immediate supervisor and so I decided to get back the performance I was doing but it seems like despite of all the efforts I am putting in my everyday job, despite of all the happiness in my face whenever I render my service... my respondent's seems not so happy and my performance are not hitting the goal and it's 3 months in a row and for me it's unacceptable. I regained and was inspired again 2 months in a row then why does my metrics does not reflect it? and worse, the recent job performance is the worst among the months that I've stayed in here and it's even worse that I am just starting in this business and that makes me wonder if this would be the sign that I should leave... but I know and deep inside of me.. i don't want to leave.
I've asked for signs and God has given those to me then why do I have this ambivalent feeling if it's me whp wishes for those signs in the first place???
I think I really need a break
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